Battling the Bet-Nots: How to Overcome the Negative Noise of Naysayers
How many times have you made up your mind to do something you really desired to accomplish but came up against much discouragement from friends and family? You decide to quit your high-paying job with paid company benefits in pursuit of your dream career only to be met with a thunderous chorus of "you had better not!” These loving beings, whom only have your best interest at heart when they furiously nod their heads in dismay at your latest inspiration, can make it extremely difficult to put that first foot forward in the direction of your goal.
We often internalize the views and opinions of the naysayers in our lives leaving us stagnant in our progression towards happiness. We stay at the dead-end job, accept the cards that have been dealt to us and allow ourselves to become complacent in our present life positioning. But why? Do we find this nonchalant tradeoff for contentment in lieu of our ultimate dreams truly gratifying? In most cases, the answer is almost certainly no.
Defeating the negative noise is a must if you plan to really live your best life. You have to learn how to listen to your own inner coach. It is that tiny voice inside yourself that is constantly debating the various choices that have been laid before you. This self-talk is influenced by your personal morals, values and experiences as well as those of the individuals who share your environment. When you are posed with any type of decision, you must first identify whether or not the origin of your self-talk is really coming from you. Although you should value the opinions of those whom you love and respect, you must consider the underlying reasons behind their disagreement with your chosen path. It may seem harsh, but if these individuals are not where you want to be, why should you listen to them? Successful people get successful by surrounding themselves with those who are already succeeding.
If it is indeed your own voice, you must next determine if the opinion is valid. You can discount any argument that simply doesn’t make sense. Ask yourself if the voice has developed as a result of a fear. It can be a fear of risk, a fear of failure, a fear of success or something completely illogical. Fear can certainly be immobilizing. To conquer your fear and begin rationalizing your dreams, start by writing down what you plan to accomplish. Once you have your dreams in writing, you will need to ask yourself several difficult questions. What are your goals? What do you need to do to make your dreams come to fruition? Are your goals reasonable and attainable? How will your life be better if you are successful in reaching these goals? Will you have more money? …more time? …a new car? How long will it take you to accomplish these goals?
You will find that by writing out and evaluating the feasibility of your dreams, they suddenly seem more tangible. You also have produced the beginnings of a plan of action. List each goal; along with the estimated time you believe it will take you to complete it, in chronological order. Type up this action plan, placing a checkbox next to each goal, and use it to create a dream collage. Gather up pictures, travel brochures, magazine articles or whatever you can find to symbolize the things you will have accomplished upon completion of your goals. Arrange these items on a large sheet of construction paper or poster board using your action plan as the center. Hang your dream collage above your desk or in any other highly visible place where you will have to see it often.
Use your dream collage as the focus of your daily meditation. Before you officially start your day, meditate on your dream for at least fifteen minutes. Close your eyes and picture yourself enjoying the items pictured in your collage. You should do this as many times as possible throughout the day but at least once in the morning. This will help you to overcome the negative noise by turning it into positive self-talk. You will find that your mind will start to embrace your dream. You will have envisioned the dream, you will begin speaking the dream, and then you will act the dream. Gradually, you will be living the dream.
© 2006 by Niquenya D. Fulbright, Executive Life Coach – All Rights Reserved.